The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK) A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?(Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
I declare myself crazy in the head! I have been feeling it coming for weeks. I have slowly become insane. This baby has turned me lunie! Every day around 2:30 I become a nutty women. My brain turns to mush and I feel like crying. I become exhausted and I want to die! As the night goes on all I want to do is sleep but then I can't come 10pm. So I sit and I wait for the nausea to pass and for me to become sleepy. I can't read and I can't sew so I sit and wait. I think awful thoughts like "I can't do this" and "I'm not cut for this" or "how can I be a mommy for two when I feel like a failure with one." Has anyone else ever felt this way because right now I want to crawl under my bed and go to sleep and never wake up.
Dugain is staring at me. Why cuz I'm where she wants to be. Why am I where she wants to be well I'm up at 9:45 watching TV in her favorite spot. TV at such a late hour (:0) well I'm sick to my stomach. So I am going to sit here and sip sprite and watch TV. Goodnight!
No I haven't recovered from morning sickness yet and the tickets haven't been purchased. But we are moving ahead and praying that by next week we will have ordered our tickets and made our plans to come home. We miss you all so much we could just scream! Our first regular doctors appointment will be Oct 5th at 10:30.
Okay my lovelies. Miss you all much. Wish I was more interesting then I am!
Why because morning sickness has take over my life. I wake up feeling ill and it goes down hill from there. I get afternoon sickness but the worse is the night times. From about 8:00 pm on I become rather well cooked. I did however make it to 9pm last night so maybe things are looking up for me. So until we get this under control I maybe in hiding. Our 8 week appointment is Wednesday so everybody cross your fingers that all is going well.
Moya at first loved the idea of being a big sister then tonight it all came crashing down. "You won't play with me when the baby comes." "You won't love me." "I don't like babies" and so on and so forth. We all piled into bed together and tried to reasure her that this is a good thing and the baby will be lots of work but she will be no less loved but will infact enjoy and love being a big sister. I don't think she's buying!
I have been here three times before and three times before they have looked at me and said "Mrs. Bosley but I am sorry there is no baby sometimes these things happen." I have prepared myself for these words. I have done the dishes cleaned the house and readied the bills all in preparation to me falling apart for a few days. If these words come tomorrow I will be devastated. I will sit in bed and cry for a day and then I will pick up the pieces that are me and struggle on knowing that heaven has gained another angel. So pray for me. Pray for strength and endurance to keep going because in the end I am still Roses mommy.
May 2001 twin to Rose
Please what ever your religious affiliation is please pray for us. I am going to need it!
No not just in the head well yah actual it is in my head. I have a sinus infection or at least that is what I think it is. I have been blowing my nose continuously for the past 24 hours. Rose and Liam spent a lovely day of trying not to fight. Two pig headed people should not spend so much time alone with each other it only leads to tears. So I today have been relegated to bed where I have read smut novels and slept off and on. When I wasn't reading I was worried about my yet to be detected unborn child. I keep thinking are you really there? Are you happily swimming around or have you already gone to heaven with your other three siblings? I hate to think that way but I just can't stop myself. I have had to many losses not to be a tad neurotic. I try to keep my brand of craziness to myself but sometimes it just has to come out. I have to wait until Friday to know if there is a heart beat or if I am looking at another blighted ovum. So I will blow my nose and wait.